Give your friend room to be happy about something you would not have chosen.

A friend’s good news can arrive with a small unwelcome reaction attached, especially when their choice is one you turned down for yourself. Questions come out that are really objections, or the congratulation carries a caveat on the end. Underneath, it is usually a wobble in your own decisions rather than a genuine concern about theirs. Someone else’s happiness is not a comment on your life.

Give the plain congratulation first and keep the questions for later, if they still seem worth asking. Ask what they are most looking forward to. Then notice which of your reservations were really about you.