You can build walls high enough to keep pain out and accidentally keep life outside with it.

Defenses built high enough to keep pain out will also stop the good from getting in, since both arrive through the same opening. The protection is real and so is the cost, and the cost tends to arrive slowly enough that you do not connect it to the wall you built.

Check what has gone quiet in your life since you started guarding. If it is closeness or spontaneity or delight, consider lowering one section deliberately, with one person. Safety that excludes everything is not safety.