Some people are generous with things and demanding with the gratitude they expect afterward.

Two different transactions can wear the same clothes. A gift given freely is finished the moment it is given. A gift given for standing keeps a running account, and you find out the terms later, the third time it comes up in conversation. The generosity was real enough, but it was never quite free.

Notice how you feel a week after accepting something from someone, lighter or faintly indebted. Where you can, decline the offer that arrives with weather attached, and say so kindly and early rather than later.