The person ahead in one area may be starting over in another.

Comparison runs on one axis at a time, and always the axis where you feel behind. The colleague whose work you envy may be learning a language of illness in their family, or living alone for the first time at fifty, or beginning something they are bad at. Lives are made of several timelines running at different speeds, and you only ever see the one held up to view.

When envy arrives, let it point at what you actually want rather than at the person. Ask them a question about a part of their life you know nothing about. The answer usually rearranges the comparison without any effort from you.