You are always choosing something, even when you claim you are waiting.

Waiting is not a neutral state. While you hold a decision open, time keeps spending itself, circumstances keep shifting, and the option you are protecting keeps quietly changing shape. Calling it waiting makes it feel like nothing is being decided, which is exactly the comfort that makes it possible to wait so long.

Name what you are actually choosing while you delay. Say it plainly: you are choosing to stay, to keep the job, to leave the question unasked for another season. If that sounds acceptable when stated out loud, then wait on purpose. If it does not, you have just learned something the vagueness was hiding.