People often want different outcomes while protecting the decisions that create the current ones.

People want a different result while defending the exact habits producing the current one. It is rarely dishonesty. The decisions feel like identity rather than choices, so questioning them feels like an attack rather than an option, and so the desired outcome floats free of anything that could produce it.

Take one thing you have wanted for a while and work backwards to the decisions that make it impossible. Then look at which of those you are protecting and why. You may find you want the outcome less than you want the arrangement, which is worth knowing. Or you may find one decision you are ready to release.