The family member who married in deserves room to help shape the traditions they are asked to join.

Joining a family means being handed a set of customs already fully formed. The newcomer is expected to attend, enjoy and eventually maintain traditions they had no part in making, and any suggestion of change can be heard as criticism of the family itself. But traditions stay alive by absorbing new people rather than by testing them. A custom that cannot bend to include someone slowly becomes a rule.

Ask the person who married in what they would like to add or do differently. Take one of their suggestions seriously enough to try it this year.