A useful response to criticism begins by checking what the other person actually experienced.

Criticism usually arrives as a conclusion, and conclusions are hard to work with. Before you decide whether you agree that you were dismissive or unreliable, it helps to find the event underneath, because a judgment can be wrong while the experience that produced it is real. Getting to the specific moment moves the conversation from character to something you can both examine.

When someone criticises you, ask what happened and when. Listen for the concrete detail rather than the label attached to it. Then respond to the thing that actually occurred, which is far easier to fix or explain than a verdict on the sort of person you are.