The caregiver’s quiet competence should not make their workload disappear from the family’s view.

Competence makes work invisible. Because the person managing it keeps things calm, answers the phone in a level voice and never seems to be drowning, the family sees a situation under control and quietly downgrades how much is being carried. Nobody decides to overlook it. The evidence simply is not there, and the person doing it rarely volunteers a tally.

Ask specific questions rather than whether they need anything, since the general offer is easy to wave away. What did this week involve, what happens if you are ill, when did you last have a free afternoon. Then take one named task off them permanently.