A birthday measures time evenly while people experience the year very differently.

Calendars are indifferent. A year is the same length for the person who spent it in hospital waiting rooms and the person who spent it building something they loved, and the number attached to your age says nothing about which kind of year you had. That gap between measured time and lived time is why birthdays can feel strange rather than celebratory.

When yours comes round, or someone else’s does, leave space for the honest version. Ask what the year actually contained instead of how it went. Some years deserve a quiet acknowledgement more than they deserve a party.