The question you are reluctant to examine may be supporting more than one part of your life.

Reluctance is often structural rather than emotional. You avoid a particular question not because the answer is frightening on its own, but because a job, a routine and a set of relationships have all been arranged on top of it staying unasked. That is why the resistance feels out of proportion to the question. Something is being held up.

You do not have to answer it this week. It is enough to write down what would be affected if the answer turned out to be the one you already suspect. Knowing the size of a thing is different from acting on it, and it is usually the honest first step.