A family recipe can hold an argument that nobody writes among the ingredients.

Traditions carry disputes that are never written into them. Whose version is right, whether it goes in before or after, which grandmother’s method counts: these arguments are rarely about food. They stand in for older questions about whose family this really is and who has authority over the past. The card in the drawer looks entirely neutral and settles none of it.

If a disagreement like this keeps recurring, it can help to say gently what it might actually be about. Or simply let two versions exist without a ruling. Some family arguments need permission to stop being fought through the cooking.