Care delivered at the right pace lets the recipient remain a participant.

Speed is what turns help into handling. When a task is done faster than the person could do it themselves, they become the object of the activity rather than someone taking part in it, and what they lose is not the task but their standing in it. Slowing down is often the whole difference between assistance and management.

Where you help someone, let them set the tempo rather than matching it to your schedule. Wait through the pause before stepping in. Ask what part they want to keep, and take that answer seriously even when doing it yourself would be quicker.