A question about a claim need not become a judgment about the claimant’s entire character.

Asking whether something is true is a small, local act. It becomes something much larger when either side treats the question as a verdict on the person who said it, and then the conversation stops being about the claim at all. Most people defend their statements so hard because they have heard the question as an accusation.

When you ask, be explicit that you are asking about the thing and not about them. When you are asked, try answering the narrow question before responding to the tone. If you were wrong about a detail, saying so costs you nothing you actually needed.