Care becomes more humane when the person is allowed a mood without it becoming a problem to solve.

Under care, ordinary feelings can start being read as symptoms. A bad mood becomes something to investigate, adjust or report, and the person learns that being fed up will produce a consultation rather than a cup of tea. That is exhausting, and it teaches them to hide the feeling instead. Everyone is entitled to a flat afternoon that means nothing in particular.

Looking after someone, try receiving the mood rather than treating it. Sit with them, agree that today is annoying, and resist the urge to fix or explain. Ask before acting, since sometimes the answer is that they would like to be left grumpy in peace.