Relatives can share affection without sharing an accurate picture of one another’s daily lives.

Love does not automatically come with information. A relative may care about you deeply and still have no idea what your working day contains, how tired you are on a Wednesday, what your health costs you, or what you can and cannot afford. The picture they hold was formed years ago and updated only at gatherings, where everyone presents an edited version. So advice arrives that fits a life you are not living.

When a relative gets it wrong, try treating it as a gap in the record rather than a lack of care. And consider giving them one true, ordinary detail about your week.