A category should help you understand people without pretending to replace knowing them.

Categories are a starting position, not a conclusion. Knowing someone’s diagnosis, generation, profession or background gives you a rough map and saves you asking about things that are common to many people. The trouble starts when the map is treated as the territory and you stop collecting new information, because then anything that does not fit gets filed as an exception rather than as a correction. A person is always more specific than the group they belong to.

When a label helps you, use it and keep asking questions anyway. Noticing the first thing that does not fit the category is the point at which you begin actually knowing somebody.