You understand your values better when no one is watching you demonstrate them.

Values demonstrated in public are always partly a performance, however sincerely held. The honesty, the generosity, the patience: all of it is witnessed, and the witnessing supplies a motive you cannot separate out. What you do unobserved is the version with no second motive attached.

Pay attention to your conduct where there is no possible credit. How you treat the situation nobody knows about. That is the clearest reading you will get of what you actually value, and any adjustment you make there is a real change rather than an improvement in presentation.