The language denotes the man. A coarse or refined character finds its expression naturally in a coarse or refined phraseology.

How you habitually speak leaks what you habitually think. Not accent or vocabulary, which are accidents of where you grew up, but how you describe people when carelessness costs nothing. Contempt shows up in the words first, and the thought tends to follow the words rather than the other way round. Speech is not only a report on character; it is one of the places character gets made.

Listen to how you talk about a difficult person when they are not present. Change one habitual phrase you use about them and see whether the feeling shifts. Precision about people is a cheap and reliable form of fairness.