Words of praise, indeed, are almost as necessary to warm a child into a genial life as acts of kindness and affection. Judicious praise is to children what the sun is to flowers.

Children grow toward the places where they are noticed. Encouragement is not politeness added on top of care; it is one of the conditions for developing at all, and its absence shows up later as caution and a quiet expectation of failing. The word doing the work here is judicious. Praise that is constant and unearned stops carrying information, while praise aimed at something real tells a child what they are becoming.

Find something specific a child near you has actually done and say it plainly, once. Name the effort or the choice rather than the talent. Then watch how differently they carry themselves for the rest of the day.