Good manners is the art of making those people easy with whom we converse.

Manners are not a set of correct forms, they are whether the person in front of you is at ease. That reframes the whole subject, because it means the polished person who leaves everyone feeling slightly tested has failed, while the plain person who makes a room comfortable has succeeded. The measure sits entirely in the other person’s experience. It is a skill of attention rather than of etiquette.

In your next conversation, watch for the moment somebody becomes uncertain and do something small about it. Fill in the name they missed, take the awkward question yourself, or admit you do not know either.