The fire can harden steel without teaching it to hate the flame.

Adversity can strengthen a person without needing to be loved for it. There is a common pressure to be grateful for what damaged you, to call it a gift, and that pressure is often more about other people’s comfort than your recovery. You can be stronger and also perfectly clear that you would not have chosen it. Both things fit together without difficulty.

If gratitude for a hard experience does not come, do not manufacture it. Acknowledge what it cost you plainly and separately acknowledge what you can now do. The strength is yours; the flame does not get any credit.