A laugh to be joyous must flow from a joyous heart, for without kindness there can be no true joy.

The quality of a laugh depends entirely on what it is made of. Laughter that comes from goodwill leaves everyone lighter, including whoever it is about, while laughter with something sour at the bottom makes the same sound and lands quite differently. Nobody is fooled for long about which one they are hearing.

Pay attention to what your own amusement runs on for a few days. Notice how much of it depends on somebody being diminished, and how much would survive if the target were present and liked. Aim for the second kind, not out of severity, but because it is the sort that people want to be near.