Every man depends on the quantity of sense, wit, or good manners he brings into society for the reception he meets with in it.

What you get from a room is mostly what you carried into it. People respond to the sense, humour or courtesy you bring, and if you arrive with none of them you receive a correspondingly thin welcome and then conclude the room was cold. This is oddly encouraging, because the half you control is the half that sets the tone.

Before your next gathering, decide what you are bringing rather than what you hope to get. One good question, a piece of genuine attention, or a story worth hearing is enough. Arrive as a contributor and the reception tends to follow.