Let us be very gentle with our neighbors’ failings, and forgive our friends their debts as we hope ourselves to be forgiven.

The standard you apply to other people is the one you will want applied to you. Everybody is carrying a failing they hope will be handled gently, which makes severity a strange thing to spend, since you are setting the rate for your own future case. Gentleness here is not indulgence; the failing stays a failing. It is a decision about how it gets met.

Think of the person whose fault irritates you most. Consider the version of you that once needed the same allowance, and extend it before they ask. If a debt between you has gone unmentioned for years, consider letting it go.