Every one can master a grief but he that has it.

Other people’s grief always looks manageable from outside. Everyone has a view about how long it should take, what would help, and when you ought to be moving on, and none of them are inside it. From the inside there is no technique, only the thing itself and the hours it takes. That gap between the advice and the experience is the loneliest part of the whole business.

If you are carrying something, you can set aside the timetable other people have in mind. And if you are on the outside, drop the suggestions. Ask what today was like and be willing to hear that it was bad.