Life is like music it must be composed by ear, feeling, and instinct, not by rule.

Rules generalise from other people’s situations, and yours will keep failing to match them in the particulars that matter. Plans and principles are worth having as a starting point, but the real decisions get made by ear: this person, this year, this sense that something is off. Running a life entirely by rule tends to produce technically correct choices that are wrong for you.

When advice and instinct disagree, do not simply obey either. Ask what your instinct knows about your situation that the advice cannot. Then decide, and keep track of which one was right, so the ear gets trained.