One of the most beautiful qualities of true friendship is to understand and to be understood.

Both directions are needed, and most people manage only one. Some are good listeners who never let themselves be read, and some are endlessly readable while never quite attending to anyone else. Friendship in the full sense requires the exchange to run both ways, which means risking being known as much as taking the trouble to know.

Work out which half you skip. If you are the confidant, tell one person something about your own week that you would normally keep back. If you are the talker, ask a second question and stay quiet after it. The imbalance is usually invisible to whoever is causing it.