The battle changed your armor; make sure it did not choose your heart.

Difficulty reasonably changes what you protect and how carefully you move, and there is no sense apologising for a defence you needed. The question is whether it stopped at your armour or went further and changed how you feel about people generally. Protection sits on the outside. When it starts operating from the inside, you lose things that had nothing to do with the original harm.

Check whether your guardedness is a choice you can put down in safe company or a permanent condition. If you cannot put it down anywhere, that is worth attending to gently, with time and probably with help. Keeping your heart is a slower project than building the armour was.