It is with trifles, and when he is off guard, that a man best reveals his character.

Character shows up in unwatched moments rather than important ones. Anybody can manage themselves through an interview or a wedding, but how somebody speaks to a waiter, handles a small delay, or behaves when a mistake costs them nothing is much harder to stage. Small situations are honest precisely because they seem not to matter.

Use this in both directions. When assessing someone, pay more attention to the trivial exchanges than to the set pieces. And when you catch yourself being sharp over something minor, treat it as real information about your current state rather than an exception.