Pity and friendship are two passions incompatible with each other.

Pity looks like kindness and quietly sits above the person receiving it. Friendship needs rough equality, two people who can each take a turn at needing help, while pity fixes the roles so that one of them is permanently the giver. That is why sustained sympathy can feel humiliating to the person on the other end. Compassion between equals goes by a different name.

If someone you care about is in a bad stretch, keep treating them as a full participant: ask their advice, argue with them, let them do something for you. Help without turning them into a project. The dignity in that matters as much as the practical assistance.