Love and desire are the spirit’s wings to great deeds.

Wanting something badly is not a flaw in an otherwise sensible life. It is often the only fuel strong enough to get difficult work off the ground, because duty will keep you at a task but attachment is what makes you willing to do it badly at first and stay anyway. Large efforts usually trace back to something loved rather than something scheduled.

Watch where your energy goes when nobody is checking. That is a fairly reliable map of what you care about, and it may not match your stated priorities. Where the two pull apart, one of them needs revising, and it is worth being honest about which.