One can not reflect in streaming water. Only those who know internal peace can give it to others.

Agitated water reflects nothing accurately. A mind in the same state cannot see itself or anyone else clearly, which is why advice given while you are churning tends to be about you rather than the person in front of you. Calm is not merely pleasant, then; it is the condition for seeing. And you can only pass on a state you actually have.

Before trying to steady somebody else, check whether you are steady. If not, the useful move may be to say less and stay present rather than offer guidance. Ten quiet minutes before a hard conversation does more for the other person than anything you could prepare to say.