Every man has his own courage, and is betrayed because he seeks in himself the courage of other persons.

Bravery comes in shapes, and looking for the wrong shape in yourself will convince you that you have none. Somebody quiet who can sit with a dying friend may be useless in a confrontation; somebody who thrives on confrontation may be unable to say a tender thing out loud. Both are courage, and neither transfers.

Work out what your own version is by looking at what you have already done that frightened you. Then stop measuring yourself against the louder kind you see in other people. The thing you can actually do is far more available in a crisis than the thing you are trying to import.