Love has reasons which reason cannot understand.

Some attachments do not survive being justified. You can list what is wrong with someone, be right about all of it, and find the list has no power over what you feel. Feeling runs on older machinery than argument, and it was never built to take instructions from it. That is not a flaw in you; it is how the thing works.

When you catch yourself building a case for or against someone, notice what the case is for. If it is to persuade your own heart, it will not work. Ask plainly what you want, then let reason do what it is good at: deciding what to do next.