The more one judges, the less one loves.

Judging and loving use the same attention, and it can only point one way at a time. When you are grading someone, you are watching for evidence, and evidence gathering keeps you a step back from the person in front of you. The verdict also freezes them, since a settled opinion stops taking in new information. Most harsh judgments are also efficient, which is why they are hard to give up.

Pick one person you have already summed up, and spend a conversation with the verdict suspended. Ask something you do not know the answer to, and let their answer change the picture.