True friendship is a plant of slow growth, and must undergo and withstand the shocks of adversity, before it is entitled to the appellation.

Closeness that arrives quickly is usually just warmth, and warmth is easy to feel with almost anyone. What makes a friendship is time plus trouble: years of ordinary contact, and at least one stretch where staying was inconvenient. Until a bond has been through something costly, neither of you quite knows what it is. That is not a verdict on newer friends, only a description of what has not happened yet.

Think of someone you have known a long time but drifted from, and make the dull, unglamorous contact this week. Keep tending the ones that have already cost you something.