Eye contact says “I’m here” before you’ve said anything.

Before a word gets said, your eyes have answered the question everybody is quietly asking, which is whether they have your attention. Looking at someone tells them they are not competing with anything else in the room. Looking past them says the opposite, no matter how good the sentence that follows happens to be.

If it feels uncomfortable, and for plenty of people it genuinely does, aim for the space between someone’s eyes, or look while they speak and away while you think. It does not have to be a staring contest. Enough to say you are here.