Somebody has to go first so the rest of the room feels allowed to. That’s a job, not a spotlight.

Going first is a job rather than a spotlight. In most rooms everyone is waiting for a signal that something is allowed: the first question, the first person dancing, the first one to admit they did not follow that. Once somebody does it the cost drops to almost nothing for everyone after, which is why the first one is doing work.

Take that job once this week somewhere small. Ask the obvious question, volunteer before anyone else, say you are lost. Then look around at how many people follow within seconds.