Tough love still has to have love in it. Otherwise it’s just tough.

Being hard on someone only works if they can feel that you are for them. Without that, the same words land as contempt and the person protects themselves instead of listening. Standards and warmth are not opposites, they are two halves of one thing. Drop either and the other stops working.

Before you tell a friend something difficult this week, make sure they already know you are on their side. Say the honest thing, then stay. Walking off right after the criticism is how it becomes something they carry rather than something they use.