Next time you’re in a debate, try to learn one thing from the other side before you try to win.

Going in to win means you spend the whole exchange scanning for weak points, and you will find them, and you will end up knowing less than when you started. Going in to learn one thing costs nothing and changes what you hear. You can still disagree afterwards. You will just be disagreeing with the real position rather than the flimsy version you built to knock down.

Set yourself one job in the next argument you get into. Find the single strongest thing the other person says and repeat it back to them accurately, then make your case. Notice how differently it goes.