Love should soften your heart without weakening your judgment.

Care opens you up, and openness without discernment leaves you unable to see what is actually happening. The two are meant to work together: warmth that lets you connect and judgement that lets you notice. When love is treated as requiring the suspension of judgement, you end up excusing things you would identify instantly in anyone else’s life. That is not devotion, it is blindness with a good name.

Ask what you would tell a friend in your exact situation, and take your own answer seriously. Being loving does not require agreeing with everything. Judgement is part of how you care well rather than a failure of caring.