Your family might still treat you like the version of you from years ago. You don’t have to keep playing that role.

Families run on old files. The role you had at eleven, the messy one, the difficult one, the responsible one, gets kept long after it stopped being accurate, mostly out of habit rather than unkindness. And because everyone is playing the old part, you slide back into yours the moment you walk in. It is easier than explaining.

You cannot make anybody update their version of you. You can decline to perform yours, quietly, by answering the way the current you would rather than the way the room expects. It takes a while and it does work.