Know your own red flags, not just other people’s. We all have a few.

It is much easier to catalogue warning signs in other people than to name your own, since yours always arrive with explanations attached. Everybody has patterns that make them harder to be around, going quiet when hurt, getting sharp when tired, disappearing when something matters. Naming them is not self criticism. It is how you warn somebody in advance instead of apologizing afterward.

Write down two of yours honestly. Then tell one person you trust what to expect and what actually helps when you are in it.