The most beat-up book on any shelf was somebody’s favorite. Getting worn down by the right things beats staying brand new.

Damage and use look identical from the outside, and only one of them is a problem. A cracked spine and food stains mean somebody went back to it forty times, which is close to the highest compliment an object can get. People work the same way, and staying unmarked usually means staying uninvolved. The question was never whether something would cost you, only whether it was worth the cost.

Name what you would be willing to get worn down by. A sport, a person, a craft, a place. Then spend on it deliberately, rather than getting slowly used up by things you never chose.