Gossip feels like connection until you realize the whole friendship runs on other people’s worst days.

Talking about somebody else creates a fast sense of closeness with nothing underneath it. You and the other person are briefly on the same side, which feels like intimacy, but the bond is borrowed from a third party who never agreed to lend it. It also hands you accurate information about what happens when you leave the room. A friendship built on that runs out of fuel the moment there is nobody left to discuss.

Count the ratio this week between talking about people and talking about anything else. If it is lopsided, change the subject once instead of adding to it.