A boundary isn’t a wall. It’s a door with a lock, and you decide who gets the code.

A limit is not a way of shutting people out, it is how you decide what gets through. Walls are indiscriminate and they keep out the people you actually want. A door can be open for one person and shut for another, and you are allowed to change your mind about who is which. People who call a limit hostile are usually the ones it applies to.

Name one thing you are done doing and say it once, plainly, with no justification attached. You do not have to defend it or apologize for it. Hold it for two weeks, because only the first few times are difficult.