Promises tell you who someone wants to be. Patterns tell you who they are.

Intentions are real, and they are not predictions. When somebody tells you what they will do, they usually mean it while they are saying it, which is exactly why the disappointment afterward is so confusing. Behavior across time is the only reliable read. In a way that is kinder, because it lets you stop arguing about whether they meant it.

Where someone has told you one thing and done another, believe the doing and adjust quietly. You can still like them. Just stop building anything that depends on the version they described rather than the one that keeps turning up.