Ask yourself what you’d tell a friend in your exact spot. Then take your own advice.

You are almost always fairer to other people than to yourself. Looking at a friend’s situation you skip the shame and go straight to the practical part, which is why your advice to them is usually both kinder and better. Distance is what does that. The same problem inside your own head arrives wrapped in everything you already believe about yourself.

Write your situation out as though it belongs to someone else, in the third person if that helps. Read it back and answer it properly. Then do the thing you just said, because good advice you ignore is only a more sophisticated way of staying stuck.