When a friendship ends, write down your part before you write down theirs.

Their list of mistakes writes itself, and it will be long and mostly accurate. Your own takes effort, because your reasons are still available to you and theirs are not. Doing yours first is the only way it gets written honestly, since after a page about them you will be in no mood. What you find is the part you can use next time.

Open a note and give yourself ten minutes on what you did, what you avoided, what you let slide. No counterweight, no but they. Then put it away and let it shape the next friendship, not what you say about this one.